So, you think you have found the guy that you’d like to be with. He’s charming, he is funny, he is super-sexy, and you really want to keep his attention long enough for him to realize what a perfect couple that you two would make. There is only one problem. You don’t really live that close to him, you don’t work near him, or your school isn’t close to his, so you don’t get to see him as often as you would like to in order to make it easy to keep his attention. It might be beneficial to learn how to keep a guy interested through text.
It would seem that you don’t have a lot of opportunities to flirt and show this guy what an amazing catch you are. What you do have, however, is a smartphone, and smartphones have social media and texting capabilities. But dating is hard enough without introducing the whole social media aspect of it. Let’s face it, many text conversations look more like alphabet soup than a conversation. I have seen an entire text conversation that was simply:
Him – “WUD”
Her – “NMU?”
Him – “NM, hungry?”
Her – “Sure.”
Obviously, those two already had an established relationship and did not use text as a way of keeping each other interested. But texting real conversations, being flirty without using your voice, expressing yourself with words without oversharing, can all seem a bit overwhelming. If you are unsure of how to keep a guy interested through texts, then this article is for you. Here are a few tips for how to text a guy to keep him interested.
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Never Send a One-Word Greeting
When researching things to text a guy, this is by far the most common advice that was found, according to Life Hacker. You never want to text someone with a one-word greeting such as, “Hey,” or “Hello,” or “Hi.” Not only does this come across as a lazy text, but it also leaves him nothing to respond to. It may be tempting just to send out a, “Hi,” to test the waters and see if he is available, but it is not a great way to pique his interest and make him want to chat with you. It is better to send a flirty text with a question at the end. You could try something like;
“Hey Sexy, what are you up to?” or
“How is your day going, Cutie?”
By being flirty, you can pique his interest and show him yours. By adding a question, you give him a reason to need to respond. Since the whole point of sending the text is to engage him in conversation, remember to make your question about a subject you’d like to talk about. If you are just checking in with him to make sure he is thinking about you, the two texts above will do nicely. If you want to set up a time to meet him later or verify plans that you already have, you may try something more like this;
“Thinking of you, can’t wait until tonight. What should I wear?” Or
“Hey Babe, got any plans for later? I would love to meet up for dinner.”
Both of these texts let him know you’re into him and ask a question that will engage him in conversation. By mentioning plans for later, you steer the way the conversation will go. It can also be cute to add a winky face or other emoji but remember that you don’t want to come across as immature or silly. Which brings us to the next tip.
Don’t Overuse Emojis or Text Like Alphabet Soup
As mentioned above, it is much better to spell words out than to send a text message that consists of mostly letters like a bowl of alphabet soup. On our list of what to text a guy, your conversations should never look like this;
Not only does this look like you are too lazy to type actual words, but you may come across as very immature or illiterate. It may also be confusing if he doesn’t understand what your letters mean. He will quickly tire of texting with you if he has to ask for a translator for everything you say. While you don’t have to have perfect grammar and spelling in text, you should try to keep it to as few abbreviations and uses of internet slang as possible. If you have a reading disability or other issue which makes spelling difficult, you may want to try the text to speech feature available on most smartphones.
You also want to be careful with emojis, according to wikiHow. These cute little images can help or hurt a text, depending on how they are used. For example, if you send a text that says, “I could have totally beaten you at darts last night,” it could come across as more aggressive than you’d mean for it to. But by simply adding a winky face emoji, you could let him know that you mean it as playful teasing. The tonality of text can be hard to decipher and emojis can help, especially if you tend to have sarcastic humor.
On the other hand, you don’t want your text to look like a 12-year-old sent it. There is no faster way to turn a guy off than to come across as childish and immature. Flooding a guy’s messages with emoji after emoji can make you seem both. Never sent a text that is only an emoji or several emojis. It can also be aggravating to someone who is trying to work or otherwise busy if he has to keep looking at his phone every few seconds for a message which turns out to be yet another emoji. Ask Men shares that the use of too many emojis can be a texting mistake but points out that using them is really a matter of taste.
Don’t Put in More Than He Does
In the beginning when you are first asking yourself, “Should I text him,” it is okay to make the first move and show your interest. What you do not want to do is go overboard and text him so much that you seem like a desperate stalker. Once you two have some sort of text relationship going, it is important that you don’t put in more effort than he does. You want to keep him thinking about you, but you don’t want him to think that you cannot breathe without him. How can you find that line?
If he doesn’t answer your text right away, let it go. Move on to something else and get him off of your mind. He may be busy at work or school, he might be driving, or he could be out with his friends or playing sports. He will get to you when he is done.
It is also important to keep the conversation on the same level as he is, according to a post on Millennialships. If his message to you is a simple, “Sup, girl?” don’t answer with a complete book of the last few months of your life. Simply answer with something simple, like, “Not much here, how are you?” This asks a question to keep him engaged but doesn’t seem overly interested.
Never send him texts if he isn’t texting you. His messenger should never be full of texts like, “I miss you,” or “Why haven’t you called?” or “Have I upset you?” Your goal in texting is how to text a guy to keep him interested, not how to make him think that he’s all you’re interested in. Needy is not a good look for you.
Don’t Make Him Wait Too Long
While you don’t want to come across as needy, it is also important not to keep him waiting for too long. It is not necessary or even advised, to answer every text he sends within a few seconds. By all means, give him a chance to miss you, but don’t keep him waiting too long. When asking yourself, “Should I text him,” think of how often he texts you. How soon after you text him does he answer? Let him see that you have a life besides him, but don’t keep him waiting too long.
If he is made to keep waiting for an answer from you, he could see that as disinterest. A man who feels rejected won’t usually keep trying. You don’t want to give him the chance to look elsewhere for attention. Millennialships advises that you wait no longer than an hour to respond so that he doesn’t start to lose interest.
Plan for Blackout Times
Although you don’t want to keep him waiting too long, there will likely be times that you or he simply cannot text back within an hour, or for several hours. The American Dating Society calls these periods, “blackout times.” As the article points out, you do not want to become a slave to your text messaging, nor can you expect him to do so. Neither of you is at each other’s beck and call. During work hours, during classes, during time with friends or family, you may not text at all for hours. This is perfectly normal.
During these blackout times, you should not initiate nor answer text messages. One of the most important blackout times is when you’re driving. No text should ever be sent, answered, or even read while you are behind the wheel of a car. He may be sexy, but his text is not worth your life or the life of someone else on the road. It is important that you let him know why you have gone silent only if he texts during that time and seems concerned. Never just randomly text him with, “Sorry I haven’t messaged you; I was busy doing (insert reason here.)” If he has not texted you, there is no need for an explanation for why you haven’t texted him.
Make it Flirty so He Craves You
Sending a message can be a great example of how to keep a guy interested through text. A site called Text Weapon shares that texting can be a way for you to create intimacy, increase his desire, and worm your way into his heart. By using the right texts, you can keep a man thinking about you and make him crave your company. Don’t hesitate to tell him how hot he looked, or how thinking of him is making your heart race. Compliment him and be flirty with it.
Think about how it makes you feel to get that early morning text like,
“Good morning, beautiful, how did you sleep?”
Your heart skips a beat, you smile to yourself, and you think about him all day long. You also answer the text because he asked a question to keep you engaged. You can do the same for him with a simple, flirty, complementary text. If you send fun, flirty, happy text he will almost be addicted to that energy and keep wanting more.
You don’t want to hide your sexuality in these texts and come across as prude. While sexting isn’t usually a good idea, you don’t want to make him think that you aren’t into him. Allowing him to see a peek of the sexual side of you can awaken feelings in him that will make keep you on his mind all day. A post in The Art of Charm says that taking risks in flirty texts can really turn the recipient on.
According to Zoosk, there are quite a few ways to flirt in a text message when you are wondering what to text a guy. During your lunch break, you may send a text such as,
“I cannot seem to get any work done today for thinking about you,” or
“Last night was really fun. You looked so hot that you’ve been on my mind all day.”
Let him know that you enjoy being with him and are interested in doing so again soon. Send him a text such as.
“I can’t wait to see you again. I wish I was there with you now,” or
“Looking forward to tonight. Wait until you see what I am wearing!”
These let him know that you’re thinking of spending time with him and make him think about spending time with you. All of these examples of what to text a guy will ensure that he doesn’t soon look elsewhere for attention. By keeping his attention focused on you, you can use your messages as an example of how to keep a guy interested through text.
Of course, which tips to use will depend on how long you have been talking to the guy. If the relationship is new, you may want to tone down the flirting just a bit until he initiates it somewhat. You might also choose to text less often at the beginning of a new relationship. Once you have settled into being a couple, your texts can come more often and be a bit more risqué.
No matter how long you have been together, you can keep a man’s interest piqued through text with the right words and images. Don’t hesitate to use your words when you can’t use your voice or looks. It is a simple and fun way to keep him thinking of you!